dandibert

I wished i could bring back time, to send the unsent love letters; climb the old oak tree instead of staring at it; and have my heart raise high into the night but now my legs are to weak, and my hands to shallow. I wish i was strong enough to harm, Instead of being harmed; To love instead of being love; for the lights to still glow beautifuly at night and never burn out. I wish i had laughed more and cry less; For the smile to never fade, But now tears are all that  there is left. I wish i wasn’t afraid of sky diving; and looking at my reflection in the window. and laughing at funerals, and calling my ex to say i still

I gazed into his saddle brown eyes, melting my face with smooth ivory fur... Until there was nothing left of us. (His smell was something filthy but lovely) his head leaned against my chest... whispearing unspeakable desires to my heart; Until we became one beat. I wish that beat had last forever; but yet again i have wished many that never came true. He was buried in our backyard I thought our love would surpass Time and aging and death; My dad said he will always live in my heart… So i guess... he will always live in my heart... Now my heart is eaten by worms and grubs and vermin 10 feet underground.

fight my beautiful soul; against that that shouldn't be done. fight frail and miserable; you seem to ignore everything you should know fight my naïve soul; Like a sonnet trying to fit fourteen lines; Like a 6 trying to fit a 4. fight dear soul, that your thinking is irreversibly fucked. Because you’re kind, And they are all coarse. Fight tyrant soul; Dance and fight, With guitar strings and violins; Dance to the end of the night; until your inner music is all gonne. Fight, so high and loud, Lonely and shattered soul; you come home crying sharply; Wishing you were never born. Fight, until you realize the

1. 5 ft 10' of round softness; long-dark hair swinging amongst wide shoulders; delightful voice speaking despicable desires. we talked the whole night, and played stupid games; (the kind people plays when they're too drunk) 2. 3:35 am kissing at the door’s threshold, hearts bursting; eyes submerged in tears of joy. that night i came to believe in love at first sight... i felt so real. thinking about it i should have walk out of that door and never come back, but something deep inside me whispered unremittingly     Love is here            

I saw you across the street, and my heart almost pour out of my chest. even though it refused to admit it was capable of feeling something it had never felt. it repeated over and ove to me: I can't bleed. I won't bleed I'm purple nothingness. I'm just pure meat; with brick-red veins and melted skin. I'm a glacier, I wont melt I feel nothing for nobody, I'm ice-made.

Dear Marti: I wonder were will the road take me. when all the highways of my mind always Drove me to you. and even though there were No pink clouds in our paradise, no crystal clear rivers, not even bright light at the end of the tunnel; that was ok, because i was walking along with you. but Now our colour is firing red; Our mistakes unredeemable; our scripts all sad, our talks all shoulds; yet i resist, i resist the end.

How sad's the life I'd lived, lived inside a crystal box. how sad's my destiny, that has no road. How sad are the tears I've cryied, cryied on the name of love. how sad's my memorie, it has erased it all. time is withering from white to gray to black to worn. eventually everything will fade away even the things we love the most

speechless and restles, I hide my lips behind my jaws- while my head leans into your hands there it finds contentment. i know im not good at expresing feelings that hurt- I was never thought how to loose, how to let go. but maybe we'll erase the memories forget the unforgetable- we can bury all of them, who made us doubt, as we may realize that the wound we thought closed refuses to heal. then we can forget about the world & hopefully the world will forgets about us and maybe someday sometime in a distant place with different names we'll find each other again as though this was our first and we will fly defying our lone

My mind is loft of abandoned thoughts; sinister ideas; rainstorms of ripped loves. my heart hides tears i could never shed; prayers God never answered; friends that were found dead. My inner self is doomed by the things i'll not say; because my lips are sealed, no one knows what's kept in the forgotten box. the Evilness, the Intimate acquaintances. the weight on my shoulders the secrets that eat me the silence that kills me things that are broken and hidden Things that my soul bears. so i just yell and yell and my eyes crumble like mirrors that time swept time that kills me time that erases me.

I signed my death sentence on July 30, 2006. the day I met my first lover. as though we were love's scapegoats we backslide at each opportunity we had. what a fancy reality. the road home was cobbled with holes, we chose to fall in them all. i'd always thought the taste of poison is sweet rather than bitter. all my past-love memories were deep buried in the bottom drawer of the shelf. his hands roused and burnt my skin, we stained love's name ontop of the world. He robbed me but there's no regrets... if i were to meet the love of my life again, i would repeatedly choose him.